Scribble

Watch Dystopia, Live!

interested teenager watching tv with popcorn
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I read somewhere that the pleasure centres in our brains light up like a discotheque every time we learn something new. You can see the logic behind it from an evolutionary point of view. We were just another animal in a scary dark jungle and were sharing the house with a lot of scary and potentially fatal things. What you didn’t know could literally kill you. And I think news publications, TV channels and social media plays off on this very same base instinct of ours: the desire to know more things.

Most of us rationalise our news cravings as a need to be aware of the world around. But we end up viewing the world and others with a very cynical lens. It definitely works for the news networks and the people who own them because happy loving people don’t make up for a subservient bunch of voters. They’re usually not good and frequent consumers and they have this irritation habit of questioning things.

You can usually guess a person’s preferred news outlet by their opinions nowadays. Although, just like we can ponder on the classic question, ‘what came first- the chicken or the egg?’ there’s also the similar: Is someone a hateful bigot because they watch Republic TV or do they watch Republic TV because they’ve always been a hateful bigot?


The Covid-19 outbreak and the current situation has increased my scepticism of the news reporting industry and media outlets. I have been an anxious person for the past few years and the situation right now has definitely been an aggravating factor. Being a self-employed advertising professional dependent on the restaurant and event industry for income has made it inexplicably worse. But I am amazed to realise that the constant news updates and Corona-patient scoreboards were the worst.

Most news channels have these 100 headlines in 2 minutes kind of hourly telecasts. And I’ve noticed that almost 85+ news of these 100 are usually shitty news: rapes, murder, theft, corruption, mob stupidity and incompetent bureaucracy. But right now this ratio seems to have spread to all our communication. Most WhatsApp forwards these days are fear-inducing updates, fake news, heresy, bizarre immunity building ‘tips’ and a recent addition has been ‘our religion/ fitness regime is the best cure against the virus’ genre. Social media updates are no better, most of them fall into either of these categories: oh look the world is on fire, my favourite leader is the best, buy my products, the virus will be here till 2022 or the dalgona coffee challenge!

Full disclosure: I too have posted and will keep on posting things from the above categories. Some of my favourite people also do. And I am sure neither one of us is going to stop. But my problem is the fact that never before has this affected me so much. The fact that I’ve never written and published something online about other people’s posting habits is proof enough! Or maybe it was always affecting me negatively, but I had to-do lists to tick off, meetings to go to, products to sell, places to go to and other things to ignore the wounds.


I usually try to end most of my writings on a positive note. Lately, whenever I cannot find one, or even force one, I try my best not to publish it. Because I believe that any interaction with me online or offline, should be uplifting for others, else there is no use sharing, right? I know pain hurts less if we choose to share because we might hear back from someone who has gone through it too. Their tips on how to cope or relatability might make us feel less alone. If nothing else, then, we’ll have one less scar to hide and pretend about.

But here I cannot think of a positive note. Sure, if you’re like most of us and still cannot give up news and updates I’d suggest some happy-news outlets. (GoodGoodGood & The happy Broadcast)

My actual worry is our own behaviour and not the way these media outlets operate. They telecast what they do, because of demand and supply, right? So all of us, or at least a majority of us have made it possible for them to be profitably in business even when every primetime bulletin brings us nothing else, but more anxiety. As a copywriter one of my proudest moment was coming up with the line: ‘Everyone wants to change the world but they don’t even want to change the channel’. It has never felt more apt.

Do you think if the apocalypse comes, news-readers would come on screen and just say, ‘That’s it from us. Shit just got real. You’re on your own. You’ve always been’. Or would they try to sell their advertising minutes at jacked up prices while claiming that it was their channel that brought you the news of the apocalypse first? Do you think they’ll have sponsors for the chaos and its live telecast? Will our favourite Instagram influencers Livestream the end? And most importantly, will you like, share and subscribe if I guarantee to bring it to your screen before everyone else?


Poems

Flight of fancy

photo of birds flying during daytime
Photo by Yogendra Singh on Pexels.com

Random thoughts fly around in my mind

Like a flock of birds in an evening sky

Dancing to an inaudible tune

The latest hit from the cosmic band.

One of them catches my fancy

I’ve seen nothing like it before,

A closer look and it’s clear

Birds of the same feather don’t always flock together.

It glides through so elegantly

I know it was never here before

The colour of its feathers

I certainly don’t have a name for.

I throw away the pebbles from my pockets

Which I carry around to weigh me down

I am ready for my leap of faith

And tag along on this flight of fancy.

Scribble

What I learnt from my first headstand

Photo by Nathan McBride on Unsplash

—-

For the past few years, I’ve been making a bucket list for the year. A list of goals which I hope to achieve before the year ends. One of the first things on my 2019 list was: doing a headstand.

I’ve never considered myself as athletic but I knew that achieving this would require becoming fitter and hence wanted to do it. It is by far one of the coolest yet effortless things I’ve seen others do, and I was convinced that once I managed a headstand, a handstand and then the cartwheel won’t be far behind.

Cut to December 2019, and I was nowhere near my goal. I hadn’t even attempted it properly once. Every time I thought about trying it, my brain convinced me that it was impossible (for me). ‘… but how can you stand on your head?’

A few days back my sister offered to help me do it. All it took was 10 minutes of trust, following her instructions and I am no longer a headstand virgin! Truth be told, it didn’t even require much effort, at least not as much as I was imaging it would take!

Here are my 3 key takeaways from the experience:

Most new things seem harder than they are!

Our brain hates new things. It will try every trick possible to not let us escape our respective comfort zones. This evolutionary trait was very useful when we were cave dwellers surrounded by fatal danger all around us. But nowadays, it often stops us from rewarding new experiences. Also, once you overcome that initial fear and self-doubt, nothing gets your dopamine & serotonin rushing like a new adventure!

Ask for help from someone who has done it.

I don’t know about you, but as I grew older it became more and more difficult for me to ask for help from others. (Yes, ego issues!) That’s why I have often spent a lot of time and energy in the past on trying and finding things which someone who had been there, done that, could’ve just told me. Relying rigidly on personal experience and not advice could be a good habit sometimes, but most of the times it is a handicap.

Don’t overthink it. Just do it.

The more we put off doing something, the harder it starts seeming.
I procrastinate a lot. So most of the times, I don’t start work until I am too close to the deadline. Sometimes, it is a blessing in disguise, because if the deadline is almost here, you can no longer just sit on your bum waiting for inspiration to strike. You have to get to work straight away and that’s exactly when great work happens. But most of the times, while procrastinating and not doing any real work, I end up thinking and overanalysing the task at hand. Most of it is: imagining everything that could go wrong with the project! And that is definitely not the best frame of mind to attempt new work.


Although I cannot do a headstand on my own yet, I have the confidence that with regular practice and confidence I will pull it off. On a related note, doing a handstand is one of the top things on my 2020 to-do list!

Poems

Infected Earth

Photo by Philipp Sewing on Unsplash

—-

This world seems broken and bleak
A sadist’s dystopian fantasy gone awry
Newsfeeds brimming with pain
How do I put my empathy on mute?

Tomorrow seems uncertain
Today is already out of hand
Trapped in a time funk
I am reliving my yesterdays

My melancholic walk
Takes me through a grim old cemetery
Where each tombstone tells tales
Their endings laid down six feet under.

Surrounded by dead flowers & dry leaves
I imagine the stories & smiles they all must have lived
I realise it’s not over for me yet
Otherwise, I’d be at peace like them.

Seems like every time this world is about to break
It is mended by people who are damaged too
Maybe fixing you is my only chance
Of fixing myself.

Scribble

You see the world as you are

A few days back I was chatting with a friend of mine about meditation and a recent shift in both of our lifestyles to incorporate the same. We’ve known each other for the last 10 years but neither one of us had been practicing meditation in that time or even talked about it earlier.

It was as if both of us were embracing meditation, mindfulness and newer outlooks in our lives almost at the same time. Maybe one of us had affected or encouraged the other in some way.

My friend commented that maybe it was because the world population at large was becoming more mindful and spiritually curious. The reason behind his belief was the growing number of posts he gets to see on his Instagram feed related to meditation, manifestation, chakras, yoga, etc.

He thought that maybe humanity at large was going through some kind of spiritual shift in their way of thinking.

As we were discussing this, I realized that maybe the underlying reason was same as why till last year most of the posts I got to see on my Instagram feed were of people vacationing at exotic locations.

Because nowadays, we are seeing the world through glasses which are also a mirror, namely, Instagram Algorithm!

The algorithms on most social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, and even Medium, are designed to make sure that you spend the maximum amount of time engaging with the content on the platform. And the surest way to guarantee that is to show you content you have a history of engaging with. That’s why if you press ‘like’ on almost every photograph of yummy looking food on Instagram, gradually you’ll be shown more food photos. If the majority of articles you read on Medium are related to self-improvement, then you’ll end up reading even more tips to improve yourself!

“I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me.”

The above quote by Frank Costello, (brilliantly played by Jack Nicholson in film The Departed) seemed to be more relevant now than ever!

This also has its own downfalls. You might never get to see outside your field of view, as they say. At times, this continuous reiteration might make you believe that whatever it is you’re most focused on, is the only thing worth focusing on.

Interestingly enough, this is also how most of us seem to engage with people in the real world as well. We seek out people with similar interests and look forward to engaging with them time after time. Maybe that is why you can tell a lot about a person from the company he keeps.

Although nowadays, you can tell even more about a person based on the posts he receives on his Instagram!

What kind of content do you get to see a lot on your Instagram/Social Media? Mine seems to be filled with ‘benefits of meditation’ or ‘tips on writing’ these days!

Scribble

I wish I had written that!

I am a writer.

For the past 5 years, almost every rupee I’ve earned has been a direct result of this skill.

I am not sure if I always wanted to be a writer, but I’ve always been a reader. As a kid, I loved reading stories in all shapes and form, short stories, novels, mythology, comic books, and even the ones which were mandatory reading during the English classes at school.

I wanted to write stories myself, but it was never a career plan. I assumed it was something I’d get around to once I had made enough millions and needed a reclusive break, or maybe once I lived a phenomenal story worth writing about.

Little did I know that writing would turn out to be my most profitable and marketable skill. It’s a double-edged sword. Although it brings me great job satisfaction it also causes occasional frustration because I believe everyone who chooses their interest as a profession gets sucked into the trap of chasing perfection.

I’ve also noticed that ever since I started identifying as a professional writer, every time I read something truly amazing, even though it gives me the same joy as earlier, it is soon followed by an ‘I wish I had written that!’

I think it is a common feeling most writers are familiar with. I suspect it is something that all professionals go through when faced with someone else’s great work.

I should clarify though, it is not a purely negative feeling. A bittersweet feeling, if you would!

It starts as plainly ‘recognizing great writing’. But then it also leads to envying the satisfaction you assume the writer must have felt as he read it just after writing it.

But I am glad that every once in a while I get to read a combination of words so perfect, that it fills me with pure joy and wonder, similar to what I felt as a kid.

It makes me feel grateful for the fact that the writer chose to write it and share it with the world.

It is a feeling so immense that it leaves no room for envy or any other mixed feelings.

Just an ‘I am glad I can read.’


Have you recently read something which made you feel grateful about your ability to read?

 

Originally published on my medium page

Poems

Homeward

 

Hopping into a jump

From the nest towards home

Jumping falling falling…

Rushing downward at the speed of life

Wind pushing eyes shut

When life should have flashed instead.

 

Like a parting gift from a party

With warmhearted hosts

Who make you forget

That you came uninvited.

 

Falling falling flying…

The absolute joy of

A dream turning to experience.

Proving yet again

That doing always beats thinking.

 

Flying flying and more flying…

With winds breaking in the wings

Fluttering with delight

While smelling the clouds

And hear the snoring thunder

Sailing to a home

And pointing to the tiny house

As seen from above.

Poems

Love is in the air

Loneliness reaches its peak once you realise

you’ve got so much of love,

but no one to share it with.

Usually it gives way to loveliness

an epiphany that you’ve got so much of love

and the whole world to share it with.

No more analysing

whether I am worthy of being loved back

How can I do it truthfully though,

when the I and I’s assumptions constantly evolve.

Are you so different than me though

Don’t you also oscillate between this constant

‘I am so lovable, fuck their bad taste’

And ‘Why the fuck do they even love me?’

Right now this is all I am sure of

This warm glow in my chest

This joy and my lightheadedness

the jump in my steps

And this smile on my lips.

Poems

Treedom

Green mornings

Of snail placed days

Where every ray

Falls with joy.

These leaves ignite

A lazy breeze

Gently it pulls

And up I fly.

On a branch up high

Of unspoken thoughts

A forgotten flower

Breathes it’s old sigh.

Tasting the first sunshine

Nibbles turn to bites

As the heat rises

Every petal smiles.